Strauss, Alix: Have I Got a Guy For You

Polka Dot Press © 2008, 233 pages

Have I Got a Guy For You is a collection of 26 essays by female writers about their experiences with match-making mothers. All the essays are well-written and at least worth the read, and many of them are quite funny. In "Letters to Gelman," for example, Brenda Scott Royce writes about her mother's attempts to fix her up with Michael Gelman, the then single producer of LIVE with Regis and Kathie Lee. Royce's mother wrote numerous letters to Gelman about her daughter, attaching photographs and insisting that Brenda would be willing to convert to Judaism for the purpose of marriage. Brenda was not keen on the idea:

"Despite my insistence that I could manage my love life without her interference, and despite my far-out claim that few TV producers actually scrounge for romantic prospects in the viewer mailbag, my mother pressed on, prompted by Regis's on-air riffs about Gelman's single status, sending letter after letter to the morning show."

Gelman, sadly, never wrote back, but other contributors to the volume did wind up going on dates with the guys their mothers had found for them. Usually the results were disastrous. There was, for example, the BBC journalist who announced twenty minutes into his date with Anita Kawatra what his sexual expectations would be should they get married: she was to be "accomodating" and "adventurous," and they would have sex four times a week, six during vacations. Aaron was an aspiring actor who said "totally" a lot and showed author Sara Barron his 8x10 glossies over tea and mocha at Starbucks:

"Then my mother called to see how things had gone.

"'Not well,' I told her on the phone. 'He totes a dance bag and dresses all in leather.'

"'In a gay way?' she asked.

"'Is there any other?' I responded."

There was, too, the divorced thirty-something who announced that his ex-wife used to beat him, and a grad student at UPenn who--for reasons author Samantha Levy can't remember--came out with a similarly startling confession: "My mom used to powder my bottom until I was in the eighth grade."

This is good stuff. Definitely recommended for when you want a humorous, light read.

Comments

[Jeane]

1.

What an amusing premise for a book. I can only imagine that persistent match-making mothers are rather annoying.

[Debra Hamel]

2.

Having such a mother is very far outside of my own experience! But I imagine it would be annoying.